Swallow
by Razorblade Devotchka
Summary: What's this! Kagome & Inuyasha alone? Miroku-tachi eavesdropping? Shocking sounds? Crack fic. Rated for insinuation.


**Revised - November 28, 2009. **Corrected missing punctuation, minor grammar mistakes, and a few other things.

**Notes** - As my first (and only?) note, I'd like to say that this is my first Inuyasha fanfiction of any kind. So, please go easy on me. I don't expect to get everything right on my first attempt. Though I'd like to think I know a goodly bit about the IY universe, I probably don't know nearly as much as I think I do and that can be bad. If you find something that I'm wrong about, tell me (but nicely, please). The characters may be slightly OOC when I write them, and for this, I am sorry. _For the purpose of this fic, Shippou will be more OOC than anyone_. However, like I said, this is my first IY fic.

**Warnings?: **Crack fic. It's not meant to be taken seriously. Please don't kill me.

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**Swallow**

The sound of mild struggling could be heard from within the small room of Kaede's hut. All attention within the hut's outer room was trained on the door to that smaller room, certain that they'd hear Kagome shout "_Osuwari_!" at any moment. However, surprisingly, the girl hadn't uttered a word since she and Inuyasha had returned from the Bone Eater's Well.

Miroku, Sango, and Shippou sat quietly, each trying to figure out why those two were being so silent. They pondered. They contemplated. They brainstormed. Suddenly Sango stood. "I have to know." Sango growled with determination and started to march purposely toward the door. Halfway there she stopped dead in her tracks. Her eyes widened and a blush swept rapidly across her face. Had she just heard a muffled moan coming from behind the door? Behind her, Miroku had already started to snicker and grin.

"They waste no time, do they?" The monk asked, still grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

Sango turned and just stared at him, then proceeded back to her spot on the floor beside Miroku and sat. She glowered at him. "Can you never think of anything else? Kagome's not like that-" At that last remark she was immediately cut off by the little _kitsune_ Shippou.

"Oh, yeah? What do you want to bet that they're in there…Haven't you seen the way Kagome is always eyeing Inuyasha? She wants him!" The little fox grinned devilishly through his small speech.

"I agree with Shippou, Sango. Kagome's always giving Inuyasha these 'looks'."

"But…" Sango was again interrupted by well-known voices heard through the door. They all stared in anticipation.

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"I can't do it Inuyasha; I'm not ready for that." Kagome's soft voice could be heard saying.

"You promised me, Kagome." Inuyasha stated firmly.

"But Inuyasha I…I…."

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"Did she say it?" The little fox inched closer to the door, his curiosity surging, only to be dragged back by an irritated Sango.

"Don't either of you have any more respect for your friends than this," she asked.

Miroku and Shippou responded simultaneously. "No!" And they grinned. Sango's eyebrow twitched.

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"I can't do it, Inuyasha. I can't swallow that." Kagome's voice wavered slightly.

"A promise is a promise, girl. Now do it." Inuyasha growled back.

"Ka-go-me. Not girl. Now just take it out so I can get this over with it." Kagome commanded.

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The group outside just sat there continuing to stare at the door in a mixture shock, horror, and amusement.

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"Fine, wench!" Inuyasha could be heard saying followed by the rustling of clothing.

"It's huge! How do you expect me to swallow that!?" Kagome all but shouted.

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At this proclamation the entire group face faulted. Sango blushed heavily and covered her face with her hands. Miroku let out a silent cheer and Shippou grinned like the little closet pervert that he was as dirty thoughts raced through his mind

"I don't think we should listen anymore. Let's...let's just go outside." Sango muttered through her hands, face still covered in embarrassment.

The monk and _kitsune_ ignored Sango's plea to leave.

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"Oh, come on, Kagome! It's not that big."

"Not that big? What are you blind?! It's huge!" Kagome screamed.

"Keh. Whatever, wench. Just put it in your mouth like a good girl."

"Humph! No."

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The sound of struggling and clothes rustling was heard from within the room followed by a nearly silent groan. The outer room's occupants were all sitting silently in shock now. None really believing that Inuyasha and Kagome were….

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"I didn't want to force you, but you left me no choice." Inuyasha was heard saying, followed by the sound of Kagome struggling, then silence.

"Now swallow." This was followed by Kagome's unintelligible reply. "I said swallow, wench!" Inuyasha bellowed. An exaggerated swallowing sound soon followed.

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The entire group gasped at what they heard going on in the adjacent room. They could only guess what had just transpired, but they had a good idea of what it was. Sango looked like she was going to be a little sick.

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"Ugh! That was disgusting! Inuyasha…_OSUWARI_!!" Kagome's shout was heard, followed by the thud of Inuyasha's body making heavy contact with the floor.

"Wench!! What was that for?"

"For making me swallow that."

"No one ever said medicine was supposed to taste good and you were being difficult, so I had to force you to swallow that pill! What, do you want to stay sick forever?!"

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"PILL?!?!?!" Sango face-faulted as Miroku and Shippou both fell over, limbs twitching.

"You mean they didn't…?" Shippou cried from his place on the floor. Sango sighed in relief.

This time it was Shippou who was cut off as Kagome flung open the door, her faced flushed. She glared at them all, sitting there looking at her. "What?!" She snapped.

"Miroku and Sango thought that you were giving Inuyasha…" Shippou immediately regretted speaking up as two fists connected with the top of his head. The little _kitsune_ toppled over, eyes swirling.

"Perverts." Kagome muttered and shook her head, storming out of the hut.

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**Omg! Nooo. A second set of notes (or one long one?): **._. Okay. I hope that at least one person got a kick out of my temporary insanity. So, how many of you all were thinking the same thing Miroku-tachi were thinking? O_o Just goes to show that everyone is a little twisted, whether they realize it or not. ._.' Maybe this was amusing, maybe it was not. Maybe there is a spoon, maybe there isn't. I found it amusing… at four in the morning. -_-


End file.
